A Relationship with Self Reflection

Self-reflection can often be a challenging journey, as it involves examining and assessing your thoughts, feelings, actions, and motivations to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This process can lead to positive changes, but it may also require confronting some discomfort to uncover your true self. Engaging in reflection is crucial because it allows you to explore who you are and why you behave the way you do. It also enables you to pinpoint areas for improvement, recognize your strengths, and enhance your self-awareness. 

I want to take a moment to share my personal journey of self-reflection throughout my life. Growing up, I regularly asked myself questions to understand my thoughts and feelings. However, I faced significant struggles in recent transitions. I began to lose touch with my identity due to multiple changes at once: moving, starting a business, leaving a beloved career, getting married, experiencing the loss of my grandmothers, going through a miscarriage, and adjusting to shifts in friendships. These events often clouded my ability to find joy behind my smile, revealing the pain I was experiencing.

A particularly tough moment arose when I planned to celebrate my sister's 30th birthday with a grand gathering of family and friends, but things didn't go as expected. Then, I received an email from Eyia Retreat (if you decide to sign up for a retreat from this wonderful group, mention that Becca Stackhouse-Morson referred you) that offered three available spots—one double and one single. On a whim, my sister and I jumped at this opportunity. After chatting with Kat, one of the retreat hosts, she confirmed our want to say yes. For me, this meant twelve days of reconnecting with my best friend, whom I had missed greatly due to distance and her busy career. As a delightful bonus, our mom joined us on the trip! We had an amazing time, and I truly cherish experiences like this.

This trip became a vital reconnection with myself, allowing me to sit in the olive groves with my journal, devotional, and inner self, reflecting on what I needed to start embracing my daily life. I realized I wanted to love my everyday experiences because I was living some of the dreams I once envisioned, and it was crucial to fully embrace this stage of my life. This is because I had faced challenges before but always found ways to love those stages in life.

Before attending the retreat, I had a meaningful conversation with our pastor about the ideas of pruning and letting go, which really resonated with me. Pruning involves examining five circles: you + God (or your chosen higher power), your spouse, close friends/siblings/children/parents, casual friends, and acquaintances. This framework suggests that you may be experiencing a life transition where you must shift individuals from one circle to another. For instance, you might need to release a friendship that has become one-sided. It’s important to recognize how these shifts reflect the various stages of your life. There will be moments when you must allow a friendship to be pruned to make space for something new to flourish. This concept became clear to me during my time in Greece, prompting me to reflect and guiding me to cherish each day on my journey. Over the past three years, I realized that my self-reflection needed to transition from my nighttime routine to my mornings. I understood that this morning practice would influence my daily life, but I didn’t fully grasp its importance until I encountered challenges in integrating it into my new schedule. One of my journals prompts for reflection was: What ignites your passion? Where are you investing your time and money? What brings you happiness? This exercise allowed me to deeply reflect on how my husband brings me immense joy and the growth we have experienced in our marriage. It also highlighted my journey in building my business and offering tools and tips for a healthy, authentic self, as well as the importance of spending quality time with my loved ones. Ultimately, it has been a journey of rediscovering the best version of myself.

Self-reflection is essential for discovering your true self. Journaling can be a helpful tool for documenting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, allowing you to reflect on core values and actions to see how they align. You can also meditate on your thoughts in silence or through prayer. Speaking with a friend, mental health professional, or coach can help you devise a plan. All these practices can guide you in identifying what may need to be pruned during this season of your life. 

The analogy of pruning, especially within the olive groves, serves as a beautiful reminder that the fruits of a tree have their seasons. For new fruit to emerge, the old must be released. Additionally, producing high-quality olive oil requires a pressing process. This concept underscores the importance of taking moments to pause and evaluate what you need to show up as your best self.

I encourage everyone to set aside time each day for pause and reflection, considering what aspects of life may need to be let go. Attending a retreat like "Rediscover Your Intentional Self" through Stacked Intent can provide a valuable opportunity for introspection and equip you with essential routines and tools for daily life. While there are many ways to reshape your daily habits, the most effective method starts with self-reflection. One key takeaway from my retreat was the reminder to “stay alert for the signs, synchronicities, and messages that guide your journey.” Embracing the quest for your best self means cherishing your authenticity!

Self-reflection is a crucial opportunity to take a break and foster a healthy relationship with yourself. I encourage you to dedicate time each day for self-connection. This practice will help you remain grounded in your true self amid the daily hustle. It’s essential to pause before you lose sight of who you are, as you may one day wake up and find that you don’t love the life you’re living. Remember, you can start this journey at any moment, and I am here to support you in discovering your authentic self.